I'm currently in a crushing marital separation after 28 yrs. with my wife. Am in major depression, starting Pristiq after a month of Prozac. I have tried melatonin, Tylenol and Advil PM, Benedryl and have read as many sleep related articles as I can. I took a month of Lunesta and now am taking 10m Ambien and 1m Xanax, but still sleep only 2-4 hrs. a night! Killing me!! I fear getting hooked on these drugs but gotta have some sleep! Any ideas are very appreciated, Thanx
Dying for sleep, but getting no relief! HELP!?
Question posted by lewie62 on 20 Feb 2010
Last updated on 7 May 2023
62 Answers Page 4
I have also had sleeping issues for years, however, for me lunesta has been sufficient enough Have you tried Remeron? I believe it is catagorized to help with sleep disorders. I have personal expirience with this drug. I took it about 4 years ago for depression and my sleep disorder, my doctor wanted to "kill 2 birds with 1 stone", Wow, I slept alright, I never felt I could truly wake up. It will put you out, but, talk to your doctor for his opinion.
I used to sleep very lightly and would wake up multiple times every night and have a hard time getting back to sleep. The results being always tired and irritable. My health was going down the tubes too. What complicated my sleep was restless leg syndrome.
My Doctor prescribed Ambian, that worked for a short while, she also prescribed Quinine for the Restless Leg Syndrome. I did not feel good with the drugs at all. They wanted to do expense sleep studies and i started looking at alternative treatments and finding out the cause not just treating the symptoms with potentially more harmful drugs.
Not enamoured with what doctors had to offer I did my own research and found a company that offered a sleep system using advanced magnetic RAM technology embedded into a mattress topper, the comforter and pillow.
I purchased the system and I can honestly say it was amazing. I had a solid 8 hrs of deep sleep and felt totally refreshed (and beat the alarm clock).
I also added a airpurification system from the same manufacturer which produced negative ions which also helps.
My wife loves the system also, she wakes up pain free after living with stiff hip joints for the last few years.
I have changed other living lifestyes I cut down caffiene and alcohol replacing those drugs of choice with purified high Ph & mineralised water. I am drinking about half my body weight (lbs) in oz . (ie 200lbs= 100oz). This also has made a difference to my health. Prescription drugs tend to drastically lower our body Ph and our bone calcium bank rapidly depletes trying to buffer the ph back to normal levels. This puts even more strain on our body effecting normal function of our gut,metabolism, major organs and the brain which can lead many other conditions.
We also typically lack calcium later in life which is a major building block for our entire body so I have also started on a bone health program which has also helped with my sleep and general health.
I am so impressed with the sleep and bone health system I have now invested in the business. We all need to let medical professionals and folks know there are alternatives to toxic prescriptions. Feel free to contact me.
dude i hate to bring you down but i have been suffering like you for years.hence i am up now.anyway i have tried everything ,xanax,ambien,restoril,ativan,melatonin,ambien,lunesta,every antidepressant you can think of.every med you can think of.i feel like shit constantly.but i have just been trying to learn to deal with it.but i must say it is killing me,i am constantly having moodswings,dont want to be around anyone,gained about 20 pounds i am a mess.but anyway i hope that you find something that helps you. i would not wish this hell on my worst enemy.it feels like a constant bad dream.but hey what can i do,ive seen dr after doctor but there is nothing that has helped..but i will put you in my prayers and i truelly hope that you find a soulution..and if you do please let me know i still hold out some hope.and sorry if i come off a little crazy,but thats what it does to you when you are worn out all the time..good luck
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED SLEEP APNEA? I DON'T SLEEP EITHER I FIND MYSELF EATING ALL NIGHT I FALL OFF TO SLEEP WAKE UP AN HOUR LATER AND WATCH SOME TV IT IS A NIGHTMARE WHULE NOT SLEEPING IS WHAT IT IS. IT SURLE TAKES ITS TOLL ON THE BODY AND MIND. I TELL YOU I WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT IT IT SCARES ME ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP AND NOT WAKE UP WITH ANXIETY I WISH THERE WAS AN ANSWER AND IF THERE PLEASE SHARE IT WITH ALL OF US I THINK IT WOULD MAKE US MUCH HEALTHIER MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY
As put in it in a long winded writing, was that time heals everything.
It's just finding ways to get to that time of healed.
Hi friend,
I have been there and understand. My wife left me and I waited fifteen years for her to come back. She didn't and I spent all that time fooling my self.
They leave because they don't love you anymore. I had two Brake down because of her, I hurt so bad, there are no word to tell how much you hurt.
Don't do the kill yourself thing, because you will hurt all the other who care deeply for you. I would like to ask you to turn to God, but I won't preach.
He did not cause the problem, your wife did. I know it's like a death in the family. The deep, deep hurt. The one you think you will never get past. I can tell you, you can get passed this. Don't drink over her, alcohol is a depressant and will only make things worse.
You did not leave, she did. You did the right thing, you wanted to stay together, she didn't. You did right, she didn't. You can still love her, but move on. If by chance she wants to come back, have some rules so she can't hurt you again. When you go to bed, go with a clean heart.
Forgive her, clean up any hate or hard feelings. It does not help to think bad about her. Go to sleep not hating will help you rest. I know it hurts and will be the hardest thing to deal with. Don't feel bad, you left the door open and she left you. You could do no more, you did your best.
In order to blank out you mind so you can sleep, try taking melatonin and watching C SPAN network. No one can stay awake through that.
yea i am having the same problem minus the divorce.but like you i have tried everything melatonin,lunesta,ambien,Klonopin,ativan,benadryl.ive tried everything.and then last night i came across something that worked really well. a while back i was prescribed a babituate for migrains, i only had one left so i split it in half i went to bed about 9pm and woke up at 5;30 so i finally got a nights sleep and only woke up twice but weny right back to sleep.so i will try it again tonight and man if it keeps working i am calling my neurologist and get more..it is called Fioricet.so if you cant find anything to work talk to your doc about this.he should go for it if he really wants to help.well i wish you luck
I can safely say I know how you feel I am on pain medicine not alot, I can not sleep I am on ambien and trazodone and still have trouble falling asleep then get only 1 hr here an hour there when the morn comes I only get total of 3-4 hours sleep its killing me I need sleep how long can someone go with out sleep? I have also tried lunesta rozerem and nothing helps also vitamins melatonin promote sleep nothin can;t take it anymore let me know if you find anything that helps lots of luck
you sound just like me i have tried everything but nothing was working,i took evrything you could think of for sleep.then i talked to my neurologist about and he gave me elavil,and every since i have been sleeping like a baby.and it works great for my depression,so talk to your doc about it.i did not think it would help either but man what a difference. good luck
hey buddy i had the same problem for a long time. i could take an abien.or klonipin everything you would think would make me sleepy but nothing worked..i ran across this medicine for migraines, iit a trycyclic antidepressant called elavil.i have been takeing it for 2 months and been sleeping like a baby..i couldnt believe something like that could make me sleep so well.. good luck
I have heard of elavil also, I would ask doctor about it and see what he recommends...
Thanks guys for all the tips! Keep 'em coming, I'm desperate for help. Last nite I wanted to try it without the drugs, so I took warm shower, Cammomile tea and Nyquil. Went to bed at 10:00. At 1:00 still awake, took the Ambien and slept very lightly for awhile, but back awake after just a couple hours. Very frustrating!
Lewie-
What do you do during your waking hours (e.g., on a typical day, what do you do during the day, and what do you do around the 1-2 hours before trying to go to bed)? Also, do you ever fall asleep while watching TV/sitting down and/or take any naps during the day? Lastly, do you (or in the past, since it seems now that you are waking-up very early in the morning) get up at the same time each morning on every day during the week?
Let me know--whenever you have a chance--how "active" you are during the week (and on the weekend), as well as the answer to the above questions; I have a bunch of helpful links (which do not involve using any type of medication) that might be of help to you, depending on your answers to the above questions... so, I will hopefully talk to you later!
-Kiera
Kiera, thanks for your concern. I work as a clerk for the USPS 3 days of the week and carry a mail route the other 2. Until this separation I had little trouble sleeping. I've always woke several times during the night, but normally go back to sleep after a couple minutes. Now not only can I hardly get to sleep, I surely can't go back once I've woken. I've moved out of my house into an apt. and now have a 30 min. drive to work. I usually get up at 6:00 am and try to be in bed by 10:00 pm. I've tried to get some much needed rest on my lunchbreak, but just toss and turn then as well. I went straight from Prozac to Pristiq after 30 days of Prozac. It made me very dry and constipated and didn't seem to help my mood very much. A counselor that I just started going to suggested the change in meds. She seemed to think with the right anti-depressant that I shouldn't need the anxiety and sleep aids.
I've played tennis the past couple of days and worked out a little as well, but didn't seem to make a difference. I've never been on any of these types of meds, so I know very little about them, but know I don't want to have to take them forever. I am just super depressed and feel sleep would help me immensely getting thru this! Hope this helps you to help me! Thanks, James
Lewie-
I think the counselor you are seeing is correct about finding the correct antidepressant; with the right med, you will not require any other of the anti-anxiety and/or sleep aids. The huge difference between Prozac and Pristiq is that Prozaq is an SSRI (works only on Serotonin), while Pristiq is "the active isomer" of Effexor, and is an SNRI (works on Serotonin AND Norepinephrine). From what you mentioned (dry, constipated, hard to sleep, etc.), the Pristiq is definitely seeming to giv you negative side-effects that you do not like. Do you take it in the morning or at night? If you are taking it at night, definitely switch it to morning... also, you may want to discuss the whole deal with a psychiatrist. It doesn't seem like Pristiq is the medication for you.
I might go with Lexapro in the morning, and for any trouble with falling asleep at night, maybe use Trazodone in the meantime. The links that I had planned on sending you will likely not be of any help, as it seems that you do everything well when it comes to "sleep hygeine" (i.e., getting-up at the same time everyday, leaving an hour before bedtime to "wind-down"). When you wake-up in the middle of the night and cannot go back to sleep, is it b/c your mind is racing (or perhaps dwelling on the separation)? Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be like there will be any "quick-fix" for your problem; I can only suggest that you continue to see a therapist regularly, and to find a physician (maybe a psychiatrist... although they tend to give you 10 minutes of their time every month) who will be willing to work with you on solving the sleep issue (and the correct anti-depressant medication). I think that if you stress to a doctor the actual degree to which this sleep problem has become--and how it ultimately could lead to you possibly falling asleep while driving to work, or driving for USPS--you should get the attention of a good doctor on a regular basis.
I'm sorry I can't be of any further help... but please do keep us posted on how you are doing. Let me know if you are able to find a doctor who will work with you, as well as if you find any meds that actually work for you.
In the meantime, I wish you the best!
Take care,
Kiera
Thanks guys, I started taking Haldol with the Ambien and now I'm sleepy all the time. I tried Valium for a couple nights and it didn't even do the trick. My doctor prescribed the Haldol and I do sleep some now, but like I said I am groggy all the time and have a real disconnected feeling. I may have to see a psychiatrist and see what he says. Never thought I'd be in this shape but here I am, so I gotta get the right answer. Maybe I'll try the elavil as well, before I see the shrink! Thanks again!
There are sleep management doctors - usually neurologists. Mine has been very helpful over the years, as I have a sleep disorder. Klonopin and a small amount of Trazodone worked great for 20-some years, but I changed my sleep cycle for a few months, and now 5 months later I still can't sleep at night. During the daytime - most of the time, but recently I can't sleep at all. Good luck to you - considering the circumstances I do think your best bet is to avoid the medications and stick to therapy and Melatonin.
its ok to take meds for the rest of your life if you need to, we have an illness , and its real, like a caner patient needing treatment and medication, so do we. so dont be too hard on yourself about having to take medication, i was like that, but now, if i need to take it, i read up on it, come here to this site and just do as im told, and its whats working
I found reading the bible, and have started to go to church which helps me to get my mind off things, also take phenergan it helps me to fall asleep but at the moment I have to take Zyrtec due to allergies and this to helps with sleep
Good luck keep us posted
hg
my dr. gave me trazodne to sleep 50 mg to start and another 50 if i was still having problems once i got into a sleep pattern and with my other meds i take i rarely have to take anything to help me sleep now. hope this has helped you. missy
i had the same problem have tried everything and then my neurologist gave me elavil for migraines,and it not only worked on the migrains but i have been getting great sleep..you should talk to your dr about something like this.i also take klonipin and ativan neither one of them helped me for sleep either..the elavil was a life saver
Have the sleeping pills you've tried been "extended release" (a.k.a. ER or XR)
If not, that may be something to look into. They have layers so that it helps you fall asleep and then stay asleep.
Also xanax er not as habit forming.
i went through the same thing when my marriage ended after 20 years, it seemed i had no need for sleep at all, i got so depressed i went tu the er, and asked for help. i went tu mental health and they gave me anti depressant, lorazepam, for anxiety. i believe that the lorazepam helped me tu relax enough tu get a few hours of sleep, i also started working out and walking at least 2 times a day i couldnt even watch tv because something would be on to remind me, as time went by (months) i lost so much weight that i was having tu go for blood test every week tu watch for dehydration even though i drank water like going out of style.give yourself time tu heal and yu might discuss using the anxiety drug also. try not to worry about how much sleep your getting dont fight it if you find youself wide awake so be it. clean house anything work puzzals or try reading a book. and yes a hot bath. the pain yu feel is very real, yu are not alone.
have you tried counseling? at least find someone yu can talk their ear off. it really helps, even if its someone from here.. good luck, i promise it does get better in time...
Yeah, lorazepam (i.e., Ativan) is very similar to Xanax... it is the 2nd of the two most commonly-prescribed benzodiazepines that have short half-lives; although, I believe that Ativan has a slightly longer half-life (e.g., 6-8 hours?). BZDs are, without a doubt, the best medications for relieving immediate anxiety: They work within 30-45 minutes, you can actually notice their effects (very noticeable increase in calm, relaxed feelings), and if you do not take them on a routine basis, they can usually induce some drowsiness (obviously, dependent on the specific dug and how large the dosage).
Your suggestion regarding exercise is something that is critical. Although we all would like to do anything other than exercise when we are depressed or anxious (and despite the fact that every doctor will tell you the same exact thing), regular weekly exercise is the most effective way (in the long-run) to decrease depression, anxiety, and issues with insomnia (especially terminal insomnia, which from your description seems to be what you are experiencing). There are literally hundreds of research studies that show that a regular regiment of exercise is just as--or more--effective in their ability to relieve these types of mental health problems when compared to antidepressant and anxiolytic medications alone.
-Kiera
your right izz it is short term, thats why i suggested it. because if your not used to taking these kinds of meds you might become afraid to try them then you wouldnt get the help you need, i myself take 1mg, prn and then i will even take half of it.. i only use it when im really stressed out.
That's good... that is exactly how it "should" be used. The problems occur when doctors end-up prescribing these meds to 'unsuspecting' patients to take every day, rather than prn... and regardless of how they feel. I'm glad that this has worked-out so well for you, and especially that you are able to use it on an 'as-needed' basis!
Take care,
Kiera
Lorazepam - is not an antidepressant, it is a Benzo, and can be very addictive, as are all the other benzos mentioned. But, maybe you need an anti-anxiety pill. If you do not go into the hospital (which is an option), I agree with Barbles - you need a therapist - you are going thru a major change and a major loss. And I agree, again, I would call my psychiatrist tommorrow and be very clear about not being able to sleep, despite all the things you have tried.
I am bipolar and suffer from anxiety and when either acts up badly, nothing helps me sleep. At that point, I go to the hospital. I go, in part, so I am releived of all the choices I would ordinarily have to make, and all the chores - sometimes those little things can be the straw that breaks the camels back, or, even worse, they don't get done . Some one cooks for you, you don't have to worry about the dishes, etc., plus I get my medicine fine tuned.
I hope you're asleep and read this tommorrow.
Lewie-
With all of the regular sleep-aids (e.g., Lunesta, Ambien, etc.), I have found that they tend to work for around a week or so... then they just stop. More importantly, I definitely think that you should consider talking to your doctor (or simply researching some info.) about using Xanax to help you go to sleep. As far as using benzodiazepines for sleep, Xanax is by far one of the the worst choices; it has one of the shortest half-lives of the entire group of BZDs (i.e., 4-6 hours... probably why you are waking-up after 2-4 hours) and have an extremely high potential to leading to dependency, even on dosages as small as 1mg per day (and it is associated with some very serious w/d effects--seizures being the most severe).
If you find that the Xanax works for you, my suggestion of a drug within the same family would be either temazepam (Restoril) or triazolam (Halcion)... diazepam (Valium) may even be worth a try as well, but its half-life is very-long comparatively and thus may cause some morning (lingering) drowsiness. Lastly, if you want to stay-clear of any potentially addictive substances, then the best choices I know of are probably Remeron (already mentioned above) and trazodone (which I found to be the most effective by far... it is an 'old' anti-depressant that is primarily prescribed for insomnia nowadays... it will knock you out, and if you don't take too much, there is very little chance of any 'hangover-effect' such as the feeling I experienced after taking Ambien, Lunesta, and the 5-7 other sleep-aids I have tried). Furthermore, it never lost its effectiveness over the 3 months that I took it (and I did not have to taper-off of it to discontinue my use... there are no potential w/d effects of discontinuing it abruptly). Lastly, it's super-cheap (like 8 cents a pill).
Oh! I just remembered one more that actually worked pretty well for me at a different time: Seroquel. No morning drowsiness, and no unpleasant side-effects... so you may wish to look into that as well...
Hope this can be of some help, and I wish you the best of luck in resolving this issue!
Take care,
Kiera
good answer--- klonopin also works good for me--- but i take them for anxiety-
Please stay away from Seroquel. My friends all gained alot of weight, and wake-up time was very groggy. So this is the talk I have heard around
my mental-health group. But keep trying, 'cuz you need to sleep.
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pristiq, prozac, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, sleep
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