I sit here day after day thinking about how strong and useful I was. I enjoyed designing my yard landscaping, going to work, and in general being productive. Now that the accumulating multiple pain has taken over my life and made me more of a dreamer than a doer, I feel hopeless and a burden to my family. On disability no money and taking pain meds to get through the day of multiple pains while looking forward to a lower back shot every two months. This started out as low pain got worse and is now running my life for with out injections and meds my quality of life sucks. The only thing i look forward to these days is being with my grandchildren and interacting while having a feeling of childhood. I can let go for a moment then I pick one up and remember oh I had to wake up again to do this all over. Multiple pain takes the spirit out of a guy. The system really is a big let down. Any one have similar or same issues. I find I need to talk about things, any one game?
Any of you feel so damn useless having chronic pain?
Question posted by jacy53 on 25 Dec 2009
Last updated on 13 June 2024
159 Answers Page 4
I am am a 43 single lady who's lived on fl 5!years. After house was settled I got
Cancer. Never told my daughter & the rest of my family decided to take a last minute vacation. 6 surgeries on my face in 3 years with radiation & chemotherapy. At that point I wished o wuda doed. I've always had horrible time focusing but am
Also victim of graves disease. Literally my face has fallen in. Need to go to group
Hi Tami, so sorry that you are going through all of this. We are here to help you. You posted on a very old post. I suggest that you ask a question whatever that may be, and people will find you and help support you. There is another member here who is going through the same exact thing that you are. You will be surprised at how many care here. Please post a question, about you, so that more people will answer. I will be looking for you!!
Take care of yourself. You are NOT alone!!
Oh my goodness. I hear ya! I have mystery chronic back pain and possible MS. I too was perky, busy bodied, worked, enjoyed caring for my home. Now I feel useless, depressed, frustrated, and lonely. It takes me forever to do every day things n need to rest in between. Yep, useless and guilt right here.
i agree with ya its so hard to do everyday things i feel useless too and nobody really understands they say they do but they dont. I have been looking for a support group on here i hope someone replies.
I can relate on feeling helpless cuz of my back pain. I have a 3 year old and would love to be able to keep up with him and play all kinds of running and lifting games with him but I just can't. Just standing for 30 minutes doing dishes causes me to have major pain. I have been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease. I have been offered the surgery but at my age and with a young one at home I can't bring myself to have it. Im only 30 years old and I should be enjoying life not dealing with the pain everyday. I barely sleep at night due to the pain and then getting out of bed in the morning is even worse. It has really gotten to me lately and I have been diagnosed with depression. So I can relate to how you feel. If you want to talk I am here.
yes I think we all have been there.. someone told me "we all own our own pain" It took me some time to understand that.. now after a few yrs passing and feeling the pain (my) pain I have to do what ever it takes, ie; listen to your body, how it responds to different meds, a way of excersis.. a massage is wonderful !!! we can't give up.. life goes by so quick.. we have to get the best quality of it, and yes it's hard with cronic pain.. this may sound aweful but theres always another person worse off then ourselves... maybe you can look to a spiritual higher power ;)
Sadsunny,
If we all own our own pain, can I sell mine cheap?
Sorry, couldn't resist. I've heard that before as well, but confess I've never really understood what it meant. And you are so right that there's always someone worse off... I often find I cannot think long about that without falling apart; if I feel this bad, what life must be like for them?
Ah, exercise... used to be the only effective migraine reducer. Then I got the chest surgery nerve damage, & the more I exercise, the worse it (& now back) gets. The less I exercise, the worse the migraines get. Lookie Ma, the seesaw from Hades! Whee!!
Anyhow. Best to you, and may the pain demons lose your address.
All I can say is Butran it's a patch that works wonders. It last five days. I have been on everything. Don't give up, go get the stuff. It comes in 5 micromg 10 and 20. They might strt you off at five. I am on ten now and I have not felt this good since 5 th grade
How long have you been wearing the Butrans patches? My skin is now getting bright red rashes after taking them off which lasts for many weeks. Have you had any problems in that regard? I'm using cortisol on them, but it still doesn't help much.
I was 8yrs old when my chronic pain became unmanageable. My bladder muscle rip on themselves, I have no bladder lining, and my nerve endings are exposed and burnt by the urine. I was too young to fully comprehend what was going on. I just thought "The doctors will stop this, because that is what they do." As time went on, I realised that they didn't know what to do, and as the years passed they said I would be in pain forever. Honestly, I wanted to give up. Luckily I had my Mom there telling me that giving up was NOT an option, and as time passed I was able to be my own rock and pushed myself. In the end I have found such great spiritual awakenings that I would absolutely go through this pain again if need be. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Please don't isolate because that is one of the worst things you can do.
If you dont feel like you can talk to others, please message me or maybe find other pain group therapies. Remember to love yourself, because that was the hardest thing for me personaly. Thank you!
Good day jacy53 it's time we should talk after reading several of the responses to your question. Believe that at the age of 63 am wise enough to become useful to all these sufferers as right now have back pain and don't want any meds then. Chronic anything is a problem and needing to overcome it has changed my life around. Some days are worse than others and on the bad ones it's useful to make this body work using the muscles that don't make any pains worse. Atleast doing that has a positive effect my mood as my response to the level of pain seems uplifting spirit. Have searched the thrift marts & charity merchandise outfits doing all right for myself. The family is sticking together but at times everyone ends up shouting or feeling miserable. The future is uncertain and knowing it's not going to get any better.
I know what you are talking about I started out walking after having my back and neck put back together. I was T-Boned by a drunk driver and it changed my life overnight, I am now in a wheelchair unable to walk, you feel useless a lot the med's do not take care of the pain. I only get relife from sterioids for a 5-7 day period, but taking to many of them do more harm then good down the road. I will talk to any one looking at 4 walls does get tireing.
I know exactly how you all feel my back problems started in my teenager year's. Going to hospitals at least 3times a month. This was before I got my own doctor when I was 24. My Dr. Started prescribing 5/500 hydrocodone. Then about a year later I had to get stronger hydro. Within 4 year's I was taking up to 8 a day.around same time was sent to a surgion. He did so so many test 1st time around. Had no luck finding problem, so started getting shots in the spine. About 3 years after sent back to surgion he finally did the 1 test very very painfull. Found out I needed 4disk taking out & rods & screws put back. Didn't like sound of it but 1 year. Later had to have that surgery. Know I am 40 years old & been disabled for past 7 years. Cannot hardly walk & in the worst pain. So I feel very useless. My wife is the only thing I live for. She has to help me do everything. Thanks to my wife.
Hi jacy & welcome to the site. I don't know your age, but I have suffered from chrontic pain for 44 years due to several conditions. If you read my profile you'll know why. Yes, it does suck, & when it's a newer thing it really sucks, but believe it or not you can get over this horrible feeling of having to live this way. Acceptance is the first step, When I first went on disability I was 44, & it was the haredst thing I ever did. I know of the hoops you have to jump thru first of all to get disability, & then there is the let down of how much you draw. You have to take it one day at a time, & eventually you will get there. I love to garden too, & push myself to the limit sometines, but still manage to do my flower beds.
Takes me way longer, & sometimes I need the boys (now men) around to help, but we get it done! I worked for 20 years as a single Mom to raise my 3 boys with all the pain, no pain pills or shots unless I was hospitalized( which I was at least once a year), but when my bones began to crumble, my doc said enough was enough, & I couldn't work anymore. My hubby was disabled at 32 from a messed up ruptured disc surgery. He is 61 now, & has bipolar to boot. He has even tried suicide in the past several times over al lof this, but it's just not worth it! I know from personal experience how hard this is, but if you stay with us, you will find there are so many people just like you, & it helps to share your experiences too. I joined the site a year ago January & it has been the biggest blessing to me to know I'm not alone out there. there are people on here that are way worse off than you & me, & being able to make a friend or two here & there, has made such a difference in my life. I email back & forth with several members who are way worse off than I am, & I'm in pretty bad shape! You picked the right site for sure! Try some talk therapy too. It can be a great help. Talk to others in your situation. There are many , like I said, right here on this site! I wish you the best, & hope your mood improves. It takes time to adjust to something like you are going thru, so be patient & be proactive about your health . Good luck...
jacy53,
I can relate to your comment, I was in two really bad car accidents within years apart but the last one was the worst.
I have chronic pain from my lower back into my legs everyday. I try to be like I used to but the more I use my back and legs I swell the next day or I will be in extreme pain worse the next day.
I am very stubborn so I keep going. Without pain medicine, some days I may have to take an extra one or two, which makes me a little short some months, I can't move. I do feel useless & a burden to my family.
I grew up w/no father & my mom passed away when I was 17 years old so I figure being 42 my family would rather have me here than not.
I know it's hard but hang in there. Try keeping a journal of your own personal thoughts, at least it helps me a little. ??? Best wishes to your family & yourself.
I am a 27 year old female and I have chronic knee pain with both my knees. I am having my right knee scoped next week because they can't find anything on x - rays and MRI's. It is very frustrating to have this pain and have nobody know what is wrong. I recently got married a few months back my husband and I don't have much of a sex life. To make love to my husband means spending the rest of the day and night with swollen and very painful knees. It has gotten to the point where if I initiate anything with him he is too scared for fear of hurting me. Another activity that I cannot participate in is exercise. I love to work out but doing so yields that same result as sex does. This has been going on for two years now and my knees have only gotten worse. Doctors don't believe me much of the time and think I'm asking for pain meds for different reasons.
I went to four different orthopedic surgeons before I found one that agreed to do arthroscopy on one of my knees. Now I am afraid they won't find anything to fix - however I am trying to stay optimistic on that end. I have depression and take medicine for it, but all this is too much for me and I find myself crying just about every day because I feel so helpless. I think chronic pain can take the spirit out of pretty much everyone who has it. I joined this community so I could talk to people who know what it's like. Thanks for listening and I would love any comments you have.
Chronic pain is misunderstood by many and it can certainly bring on feelings of uselessness. Aside from the system and the pursuit of the correct meds I encourage you to seek out support groups in your area. Sometimes recovery groups are the best places to find what I call "Partners in Pain." We need to have interactions with folks who are suffering from the same things, in this case chronic pain. This can change your life for the better because you will eventually no longer feel so isolated or alone in this. Pain follows us everywhere, it's in our bed, it's there if we sit, stand, walk or move. It knows no season and has no off switch, it makes to hard to enjoy life or process information. It drains our hope, distorts our perspective and damages our relationships. Support groups are made up of people with similar experiences and again I would encourage you to step up and reach out. It is the best thing overall, and makes dealing with this demon a little easier.
Useless? I used to be a special education teacher, and rewrote the entire curriculum for trainable mentally handicapped. I was nominated for teacher of the year for my school, and special educator of the year for the county that year. I had over six offers to receive my doctorate from my choice of Universities that WANTED ME!! I was asked to go to Russia, and China to REPRESENT the UNITED STATES,,, and then i was hit by that car carrying four laughing teenagers. When I turned around to see what the heck just happened, they backed up and HIT ME AGAIN!! It took me over a half an hour to find my children's school that day, back in 1994, even though it was only two blocks away. Back then, if you didn't lose consciousness, you weren't considered having a concussion. Now it's a different story.
I have been accused of wanting to stay at home all day and enjoy narcotics, and most of my family (including my beloved son) BELIEVES that!! How can they even think that after where I was in my career. I don't care what anyone says, people define themselves by their careers. Now my career is staying at home all day, trying to get out at least once a day to do SOMETHING that will help my poor husband take care of me. Do I feel useless??? YES, resoundingly!!
PS: I think that I forgot to mention that those laughing teenagers were trying to rob me. They jumped the curb and the sheriff didn't think it was worth it to try and find them. My only wish is that they KNOW how they destroyed my life in less than a minute!
PS: I think that I forgot to mention that those laughing teenagers were trying to rob me. They jumped the curb and the sheriff didn't think it was worth it to try and find them. My only wish is that they KNOW how they destroyed my life in less than a minute!
Yes I will talk with you I am living the exact same life you are but not for the same reason. I want to die I feel so bad. It 's like I am just existing for nothing. The Drs have told me there is nothing else they can do to help me I am just waiting now to get worse & die. I have 11 Diseases some - Crohn's, Fibromyalgia, resslist leg syndrome, my upper spine is crusing nerves causing my hands & feet to fell like they are sun burned. I can hardly open a gallon of milk & or walk on my feet. In the shower the water feels like stones hitting my feet. THis is just a few of my pain issues. I have had so many surgeries I can't have anymore so pain meds are my only option left!
You just hang in there & stay with this group & read all you can it will make you feel better knowing you are not alone !
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