I sit here day after day thinking about how strong and useful I was. I enjoyed designing my yard landscaping, going to work, and in general being productive. Now that the accumulating multiple pain has taken over my life and made me more of a dreamer than a doer, I feel hopeless and a burden to my family. On disability no money and taking pain meds to get through the day of multiple pains while looking forward to a lower back shot every two months. This started out as low pain got worse and is now running my life for with out injections and meds my quality of life sucks. The only thing i look forward to these days is being with my grandchildren and interacting while having a feeling of childhood. I can let go for a moment then I pick one up and remember oh I had to wake up again to do this all over. Multiple pain takes the spirit out of a guy. The system really is a big let down. Any one have similar or same issues. I find I need to talk about things, any one game?
Any of you feel so damn useless having chronic pain?
Question posted by jacy53 on 25 Dec 2009
Last updated on 13 June 2024
159 Answers Page 2
I know the pain, frustration, uselessness that you must be feeling. I’m with you my friend, chronic back pain. Broke my back, very grateful I’m still able to walk, not in a wheelchair. But, I was a nurse working full time, was married, full of life, never stopped, helped anyone I could along the way, went to concerts, loved to dance. It’s all been taken away from me.
Husband passed away within 3 weeks of also loosing my mother. I’m trying to sell my house & with so much pain trying to pack things up. He died suddenly, and although I have my father & a brother, who both love me, and ironically one of my first boyfriends that I dated as a teenager, we always stayed friends, sadly lost his wife before my loss, but we are now back together again.
But the loneliness, the helplessness, all the things I used to do that I can’t do anymore…to change my bed sometimes is the only thing I can do for the day. I’d be happy to talk more to you or to anyone with chronic pain, because if you’ve been lucky enough not to go through this, you really can’t possibly begin to understand when everything that you were in life has been taken away from you. It’s very sad, I know people have it better than me, and so much worse than me, but the inability to do the most simplest tasks and you can’t, and you know deep in your heart that you may not be able to EVER do them again, it can so overwhelming sometimes.
I’m sorry your going through this….but your not alone.
Yes, I know exactly how you feel. After a major abdominal surgery, hernia repair, removal of my reproductive organs because of a 8.5 pound tumor removal, I have been experiencing chronic pain. I feel useless and a burden on my family. I hate to feel so week and helpless. You are not alone.
I feel exactly the same way as you do. My back hurts all the time and I doubt that I could do much of anything without pain meds. I miss the days when I was younger and didn’t have this pain. I have young grandchildren and it’s difficulty to play with them. I used to be able to do pretty much anything, and I miss those days so much! I feel so much older than I actually am, and I have a very limited social life.
I know how all of you feel with chronic pain. I have been suffering with chronic back and arm and shoulder pain for year's. I had back surgery 3 months ago and I still have chroniccan back pain. It did help my legs to where I can walk with out pain but my back and shoulder, neck, and arm's still are in a lot of pain to where I can't do anything. I am stuck in my apartment day in and day out. I have tried to get a electric wheelchairs so I can get around but my doctor won't fill out the paperwork so I can get it. I can't get any pain meds so I take Tylenol 1600mgs in the morning and when I go to bed. I stay in my bed most of the time because it hurts to walk. My back still hurts so much. I was out of commission for days after my back operation in severe pain until I cried. I didn't have rods put in and I was told I would be up walking the day after surgery. I could hardly move for over a week. I suppose everyone has their own healing from back surgery.
I need one more back surgery and my neck operated on. I am thinking twice about that. I really liked my surgeon and he watched after me when I was in the hospital. I feel lost and I was use to going places and doing my own house work. Now I have to do when I can and try to pay someone to do my laundry and go get my mail from down stairs one a week. I feel like life is over for me at times. I can't get any help because doctors are not like they use to be. I know what you are going through and I will say a prayer for all of you that are experiencing severe back and neck pain. May God Bless You.
I know how all of you feel with chronic pain. I have been suffering with chronic back and arm and shoulder pain for year's. I had back surgery 3 months ago and I still have chronic back pain. It did help my legs to where I can walk without pain but my back and shoulder, neck, and arm's still are in a lot of pain to where I can't do anything. I am stuck in my apartment day in and day out. I have tried to get an electric wheelchair so I can get around but my doctor won't fill out the paperwork so I can get it. I can't get any pain meds so I take Tylenol 1600mgs in the morning and when I go to bed. I stay in my bed most of the time because it hurts to walk. My back still hurts so much. I was out of commission for days after my back operation in severe pain until I cried. I didn't have rods put in, and I was told I would be up walking the day after surgery. I could hardly move for over a week. I suppose everyone has their own healing from back surgery.
I need one more back surgery and my neck operated on. I am thinking twice about that. I really liked my surgeon and he watched after me when I was in the hospital. I feel lost and I was use to going places and doing my own housework. Now I have to do when I can and try to pay someone to do my laundry and go get my mail from downstairs one a week. I feel like life is over for me at times. I can't get any help because doctors are not like they use to be. I know what you are going through and I will say a prayer for all of you who are experiencing severe back and neck pain. May God Bless You.
I know exactly where you're coming from. I was once a contributing member of society. I worked for N.Y.C. Parks Dept. 20 plus yrs. Now on Disability since 2008 I feel worthless, depressed, a burden to my family.
Right there with you. Explain your heart out, but unless someone understands, they'll never understand. Chronic pain sucks, especially when it can't be physically seen.
Oh my goodness, yes! My youngest child is ten, he always knew me to be up and at 'em, going and doing, helping everyone- now I'm terrified to wake in more pain than I can handle. I always had Percocet and a good muscle relaxer. I was stopped cold turkey after years on those meds. I am drowning in pain, and yes, it breaks my heart to have days when I cannot even clean or cook. I literally feel what you are going through. Terrible time getting"medical care". Doctors are definitely not what they used to be. I am struggling to find anything that helps me out even minimally at this point. Angers me, as he is Autistic and has many physical problems as well, needs wheelchair periodically, etc. I know they need to make an exception for people who struggle like this, sleep is long ago and far away as well, putting another level of difficult to my day. I just started Celebrex for the inflammation and I am very nervous about any new meds at this point.
They all have much worse side effects than anything I have ever taken before. I often wonder why they prescribe them at all- the other meds worked perfectly with no side effects. I'd love to talk to you about it all!
10 years with narco 5. And Muscle relaxes. No side effects. Help a little. Put me on nerve medications. Not as strong as the one you have. Terrible side effects I quit using him. I'd rather be in pain, Then Dizzy blurry eyed, Sensation like I'm going to fall. They want to take me off my meds too.
10 years with narco 5. And Muscle relaxes. No side effects. Help a little. Put me on nerve medications. Not as strong as the one you have. Terrible side effects I quit using him. I'd rather be in pain, Then Dizzy blurry eyed, Sensation like I'm going to fall. They want to take me off my meds too.
Yes. me too. where did my life go? what happened to my creativity? Where did the fine detail go from my work? I don't seem to care anymore. My back hurts every day going from a pain meter of 8 to 5 to10 by the end of the day. Some pain pills work, some have bad results doing more harm than good. I try not to take pain pills but this makes the pain worse. I get shots but they don't last. I also have a hiatal hernia, another reason to lay around in my lounge chair to wait for the food to go down. Lots of naping. Bad isn't it? Not sure what to do. chiropractor helps some times, Acupuncture does not work at all.
I completely understand how you feel. I often refer to myself as “the old me” and “the new me”. I’m still the same person I always was but, I’m trapped in this useless, pain filled body. I’ve been in pain for 26 years now. I’ve had over 40 surgeries, have more diseases than I can name. The pain is unbearable. My pain doctor that was amazing closed down his practice and all other pain doctors are scared to prescribe opioids. So, a year ago I detoxed of opioids at home and now I’m bedridden and take Advil and Tylenol for pain. Went to the doctor today and they are concerned about my liver and kidney function from taking Advil and Tylenol. The nurse asked me what I enjoyed doing and I burst in to tears because all I could think about was what I used to be able to do. I used to work 80 hours a week and was active, kickboxing, etc.
I feel you about disability too. The amount you get is so small and you don’t get the feeling of accomplishment like you do when you can work. Even though the disability is money you worked for. I feel like a burden too. I know your family doesn’t feel that way about you. I bet your grandchildren are just crazy about you & so happy when they get to see you! Just remember you aren’t alone in this, there are a lot of of that know exactly how you feel!
I do feel useless. I’m like a blob af skin that takes up space.
Yes I do feel helpless and even hopeless at times. My pain has never been controlled, even with medication, physical therapy, exercise, stable and acceptable weight, OTC medications combined with pain medication and assistive devices like braces, cane or Walker. I have been having the chronic pain since 2009! Each year it gets worse because something new has started to hurt. I have osteoarthritis along with some other conditions. My lower back is the worst of my pain. Overall I have had 7 surgeries on various body parts but the worst have been the cervical fusion and lumbar fusion. They didn't help the pain at all plus they created other issues. Now it's to the point I can't even work and it will take so long to get disability. I have chronic migraines as well, 15 plus a month. I don't want to leave my house, socialize and I can't do any of the things I live to do.
It takes me 3 days just to clean my house and then I am exhausted, frustrated and angry. I especially feel bad for my husband. I know as time passes it's only going to get worse and I need yo come to terms with that accept it and find joy and thankfulness for what I do have but it's a long terrifying journey. Thanks for your share, you are not alone
Not useless just cannot do all the activities I used to love doing! Find new passions! Joeyar56
At last! Someone who understands!
I have always been very active, and in great shape. I enjoyed tennis, hiking, biking, climbing, horseback riding, the gym, anything physical. Then ten years ago I started having unbearable neck and back pain.
I had a fusion surgery on my neck ten years ago. Did not help. Now I am in chronic pain and must rely on strong pain meds which no longer seem to help much. The side effects make me so tired and sleepy, I can barely function. I am little more than a shut in at this point. My drs think it must be nerve pain. They don’t seem to know of anything surgically that will help.
Long story short, I am still sitting around the house. I have gained forty pounds from the meds slowing my metabolism. I hate it!! I can’t stand being in pain and out of shape! This ordeal has really changed who I am! It is so depressing and lonely! My soul longs to be free of this!! I feel like a burden to my family. I just changed from hysingla er to belbuca, but i am only on 75 mg so it has not helped much yet. Oxycodone does not help much anymore either. I don’t know what to do...
I feel your pain! It feels like my life! Constantly in pain and I watch my 8 yr old granddaughter every day and it truly brought so much joy because we would do so many fun things almost every day and now I the minute she leaves I’m In so much pain that at times is so unbearable that sometimes I wish that I don’t wake up in the morning!! It’s not that I’m suicidal because I would never do something like that! And now I’m preparing for yet another spinal surgery!! Waiting through the pain so I can still watch her during the summer so not scheduled until last week in August!
I feel your pain! And the worst part of all is how people just don’t get it! My 8 year old granddaughter is here all the time and I feel so bad watching my husband doing fun activities with her that I just can’t do! When I do some things with her I pay for it later in the evening! I feel so helpless at times but really try not to go there in my mind! People see you doing things so they seem to forget and then don’t see me at night when I’m in excruciating pain! No one knows what true pain is until they experience it! I’ve been dealing with it for 30 years with multiple fusions and I’m only 61!
It's going to take some big money lawsuits to implement any change. In the '70s and '80s it was very difficult to be properly treated for any pain. After a few lawsuits in the '90s is when doctors started to be generous. Better to have too much than too little. Now policies have circled around and are worse. A doctor I interviewed admitted I must be in terrible pain, but told me it was part of life. Refused to prescribe the opioids that gave me back my life. Being active and productive. This is a human rights violation as well as a violation of the doctor's code of ethics.
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