I see a LOT of people who just seem to be morbidly obese taking up handicapped spaces. Shouldn't those people be walking the extra few yards, and the elderly be given the privilege of parking close to a store?
Also, the truly handicapped, people in wheelchairs, or using walkers! THEY should have the spaces first!!
Does anyone else get their undies in a twist about this, the obese using handicapped parking spots? Or seeing perfectly healthy people using a handicapped spot? My SIL has MS and she NEVER uses handicapped parking unless she is in a bad flare, or her balance is quite bad.
This makes me so angry of late, but some illnesses cannot be seen, like fibromyalgia, perhaps the people using the spots are actually handicapped in some capacity?
Thanks all,
Lara
P.S. I guess what I mean is, doesn't it just chap your buns to see 'normals' using handicapped parking???
Should people with Fibromyalgia have handicapped parking stickers for their auto's?
Question posted by MacIntosh12 on 3 Dec 2012
Last updated on 11 December 2021 by khburnett
18 Answers
This question definitely hit a nerve. I was glad to see the author changed her stance in the comments. And I thank her for sharing that.
It took me a year to start using my placard after receiving it, because I was so nervous at what other people might think. I'm glad to see larger conversations occurring about invisible disabilities.
I don't have fibro or obesity, but I do have MS. Even a day where I feel well, if it's hot outside (I live in NC), the heat can create exacerbations. This means it can zap all energy and strength before I make it inside a store and I have to immediately leave.
There are so many invisible reasons people need their placards, including obese people. After facing the anxiety about being judged, I never will judge someone with a placard who chooses to use it. If someone needs a placard, I hope they can be unafraid to use it.
xx, Kimberly
I have fibromyalgia and I'm 5'5, 130lbs. I'm just as thin as my friend with MS, who commiserates with me on flares. She's actually the one who told me I should get a placard.
I swear to Christ that having Fibromyalgia is one of the most humiliating things in the world. It is by far the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
People don't understand, there are days when I can hardly open doors and each time I lift / pull / push/ walk it is AGONY and the more I do the more it will hurt later.
I've given birth and I once almost died from a kidney infection. I've gotten into accidents where my dirtbike landed on me and burnt through my pants. I know pain. I'm not a f-ing whiner. I'm not fat. I'm not lazy.
All you people all on this thread make me sick, the way you talk about people with Fibromyalgia. If you mean to say you can't stand lazy obese whiners, then SAY THAT. It's NOT interchangeable with Fibromyalgia! FFS!
I have to be honest and say that many of times I have caught myself looking at someone obese and think, they should be walking not getting a handicap pass for them to do less walking!!!
But then I stop and realize what people must think of me when I use a handicap spot. I am not obese and by all accounts, just looking at me, you typically wouldn't have even a slight clue what pain I deal with daily. No clue how every day Just getting out of bed can become the hardest flipping sh*t anyone could ever do!
I only use handicap parking when taking my children to theme parks and I also bring my wheelchair and cane on those days, just in case... And always glad I did because about half way through, my very painful unhappy self is sitting in that chair.
I have lived my entire life in pain... I was my bio father's punching bag before i could flip over in my crib...
I hold my pain well, mostly... So even though sometimes I really feel the need to park in the handicap spot at the grocery store... and use my wheelchair or cane...
I don't and I don't because of people who immediately judge... And, as stated above, I am guilty of judging too. :-/
My life is already hard enough, I don't want to deal with a confrontation from someone who thinks they can judge my pain level just by looking at me.
I use to get upset when I saw what look to be a "norm" person in a handicapped parking space. Now I try not to judge others as not to be judged. We can't see pain same as we can't see the wind blow. After having a stroke changed my worrying about things that are not important and understanding we can't change people. But we can only change one person... ourselves to make a difference. I'm Obese, have Fibromyalgia, Asthma, Neuropathy, had a Stroke and I get out of the car I can make a few fast steps but the more I walk my muscles began to tighten up. So then I need a motorized shopping carts to continue the journey. I look to be of the "norm". What you see at first is not what that person maybe feeling inside. Yes there are some that abuse the system but if they have a decal they are not breaking the law. Try to be objective. Stress can bring on a flare up on you.
We were basically talking about people stuffing their mouths with donuts, and do not have a handicap permit. Meanwhile truly handicapped people, some slim or strong looking, can't use the parking space. I've been out parked in a handicap-and seen a very heavy person get out, then go to the mall food court etc. and that person is pigging out on fries and donuts. They other day, my son forgot to put his handicap permit up. Went in a shop-and a woman already had a cop there-and she began abusing him. He asked her what her handicap was- nothing-he pointed to his disabled vet license plate and asked her to read it.. Then he showed the cop his placard. He drove off with while the cop screamed at the woman. None of us are judging, but some of the healthier looking DC members wonder about those that abuse the system.
I try myself not to judge others lest I be judged myself. Im obese, have fibromyalgia, gen anxiety disorders, panic attacks, major depressive disorders, neuropathy, and both shoulders are "frozen."
Unless I see a blatant abuse of a handicap tag or plate, I dont usually say anything. I have no idea what is truly going on. I see how people look at my husband and I when we get out our vehicle.
My comments were made early on in this thread. It seems some did and did not approve of my words. Ive heard "thru the grapevine" that my words were the ones who have since turned some folks here away from, and against me for speaking my feelings during this particular thread. If that is what they choose to do, so be it. Ive stated my reasons above and in my previous comments as earlier stated during this "question." Thank you for your support.
Seeking in other places,
Tee
I've skimmed through some of this but did read your post. If I had a handicap decal and got out of my car, people would be given me the stink eye. My boyfriend just said I'd probably get ticketed regardless if a cop saw me. To the public, nobody would believe for one second that I live in chronic pain, spend my entire weekends in bed and suffer miserably. The other day I parked for work, last row because its all that was left, it had snowed and the streets were slick. I fell THREE times because I was already in pain, was carrying a bunch of stuff and by the time I got to the entrance I was in tears. I had to fight my way through the day and was so emotional that I had a stress induced flare as well. Not once did I think about a handicap sticker.
But this post has made me think, and bottom line, people are going to abuse the system no matter what, whenever someone can take advantage if something to make it easier on themselves, they will, and there's always going to be real victims that lose out because of it. Whether its a handicap spot or claiming more in household to acquire more food stamps and government assistance, there's always going to be the one that lies and the one who suffers because there's just not enough to go around and they don't think twice about the people they're hurting. Unfortunately, we have a system that allows for this to be done. And it stinks and isn't fair. But what can we do?
At least, this is giving us a chance of getting it out of our systems.
To get a handicap sticker or license plate, as I & my husband have, you must have verifiable conditions that require you not to walk very far. A doctor must fill this out for you, & sign it. Not all conditions can be seen by the naked eye. I think making fun of obese people is just plain wrong. Not all can help their condition of being overweight. Just because some of us are 'thin' doesn't give anyone the right to poke fun at the obese ones. I hope none of our members have had their feelings hurt. I don't think this was the intention of anyone, but please think before talking about others. Heart conditions, liver problems, neuropathy, diabetes, etc... are just few of the conditions, that require handicap parking. We had an incidence one time where a lady parked on a planter in front of the store, made a comment to us about using a handicap parking spot, & was going to call the police even tho' we have license plates that are handicap.
My husband flipped her a quarter & told her to go ahead & call. She had made a remark that we sure didn't looked handicapped to her. She doesn't know us or our health conditions, & had no reason to make a judgement call like that. Neither does anyone else. People with just fibromyalgia need to walk to get the kinks out. ... Mary
I think that we're all hurting. Each of us has our own problems and are sensitive about them. Some of us look fit-some of us have weight problems because we can't exercise because of heart-joint-kidney-etc problems, have hormone problems, bad knees. I think that at one time or another others have made rude comments to us and about us. I was in a class where the disabled were leaving to take the test that allowed us to have extra time, and use a computer. One of the guys-said there goes the freaks that think something is wrong with them. One student didn't have any legs. What I think is that our comments are about people that drink soda after soda, french fries, donuts non-stop-and wouldn't have so many problems if they ate a salad instead. People that I know with bad joints, in wheelchairs for real, bad feet, usually work very hard to keep their weight down-but it's hard.
Then there is a difference between those that are fit and are using a relative's parking permit-they get out and run and jump over 5 ft walls. That is really the main problem in this state-NM- Nobody is pointing a finger at another member, we are just expressing our frustrations. Now the student that i reported, several other handicapped students complained to me about him- He showed up a certain and did this routinely. I took pics, the campus police called the phone number of the person his permit was issued to, and she answered the phone-so they towed the car. They put the fear of everything, where hopefully he learned to respect the law and others that couldn't get around-people like us. It was nice to hear others say about how I feel about others on a bad day and how I feel about myself. i smile and say- are you having a party- If they aren't, I feel sorry for them, but I mostly shop where everybody keeps their weight down.
It's not right to judge people who use disabled spaces just because they don't "look" like they need them. Even if they are obese. Perhaps they are obese because they are in chronic pain. They could have heart conditions, but look "normal". I can "look" perfectly normal, but be dying inside. So even if you see "normals" using those spaces, you have absolutely NO IDEA what is going on with them!!
I believe the bible verse goes something like "don't judge others, lest ye be judged"???
I don't think this is about judging as much as frustration and wanting understanding.
Should they put a sign around their necks, so you can have understanding??
Ellen, I am talking about people that DON'T HAVE permits, or use their "granny's" as meyati said.
It's about abuse of the system, that's it n that's all.
READ THE END of my question, to all that are upset by it!
My point is how do you know they aren't the ones who need it?? Maybe one of the "teenagers" has autism, and can't stand the constant intrusion in their brain very long. Actually I see more seniors abusing these passes than anyone! They leave the person in the car who is the owner of the pass, and they go out and run their errands. It happens all the time. As far as obese people, read again, I believe someone said just "look in their shopping bag and see what they buy", something about "twinkles". Obesity is the last disability, (and it IS a disability), where people are allowed to criticize. Obesity is a very complex problem. Oftentimes these people have been physically, mentally or sexually abused as children, or they have major mental problems, but we as a society see them as "weak". I guess working in social work has made me very understanding of many, many disabling conditions.
Even the guy in the Porsche might have a problem, but you have NO IDEA what that problem is. It could be that he goes crazy if he hears a certain noise, whatever, who is it for US of all people to criticize. Us, who had to PROVE to doctors that fibro is real, that obesity IS a disease caused by many, many factors. Do you think people say to themselves, gee, I think I want to be obese, so I can eat whatever I want and not exercise??? NO. They don't CHOOSE it anymore than we choose our disability, and have to prove to others that we deserve to be treated better. Teenagers can have fibro too, or other mental problems. The thing is, you just don't KNOW.
Look at Tee, she apologized, for what? Because her husband might be considered obese? Yet then you all said, oh, but for you it's ok. What about the people you DON'T know?? If a doctor gives a person permission to have a placard, who are you to decide if they should have them or not? Who are you to decide that it is someone else's? If someone parks in a disabled spot and they shouldn't, why care since you all have said, "well I don't' use mine", seemingly brave, and strong. Well I use mine, I look normal, and I get nasty stares from people, and I am sick and tired of people making judgements when they just don't know.
My point was people without the permit using the spots for people WITH a permit. And everyone is disabled in some form or another, should we all have those permits? Did you read the last sentence in my question?
I read the last statement of your question, and I read everybody else's statements also. You said: P.S. I guess what I mean is, doesn't it just chap your buns to see 'normals' using handicapped parking,,, and I said that you can't always tell who has a disability and who doesn't. That's all.
Misfino-WE ARE THE ONES THAT WANT UNDERSTANDING--- None of us go fight with anybody. Many of us have had problems getting around-others think they know if we are handicapped or not. I send a grandson grocery shopping for me on bad days. The cops here are good in patrolling and towing. They ticket if the person has a disabled vet plate, but no placard. All the vet has to do is to FAX a copy of his placard-they have enough info on a placard that the police can contact the owner. Last month people were complaining because a dozen cars were towed and the owners ticketed. They were observed doing this over and over-so the business owners began checking.
They called the police-the police went on the news-and told people go get a permit from your doctor-if your doctor won't sign-walk--On this post-everyone is explaining their circumstances-many tell how they don't want to take that last place-because in our minds we R thinking about a young mother coming up and trying to park-get into her wheelchair, while the young children already know how to behave and help. We think of that frail vet with one leg and his wife that has a heart condition. We think of that vet that has PTSD and hunting for a parking space and the fear of not finding their car can be traumatic to them. And again-my peeve is the young person- even the healthy mate of a handicapped person that uses the permit, when their handicap spouse is home. I had a very healthy neighbor-chopped wood-cleaned corrals-rode broncs at the rodeo-3 years after his wife died-he drove around with her placard and he'd be parked in a space-while people struggled to get a wheelchair and kids out of a van. I told him that he should turn it in-he said that he deserved the placard because he had to take care of his wife. Everyone at the village PO told him no-finally one of his own relatives turned him in-honest-Annie couldn't walk because of obesity and diabetis and her husband was healthy looking, but had a very bad heart. Annie didn't eat donuts and they stuck to their diets-like some said- genes can play a role in our health problems.
Indeed, meyati, genetics can play a part in many diseases or conditions. I've two cousins, both with a genetic disease. Both had permits, or placards and I was very happy they had them. One cousin, B, died suddenly, just recently.
It broke my heart, he was the kindest guy. I adored him, as a child he couldn't play with the rest of us, so I'd hang out with him and play cards. He truly was the kindest person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.
I don't know why I shared that, it really doesn't pertain to this.
Why not say this? this is the point that a handicap permit should be between a patient and doctor. This is a question about this- and we're all showing how we feel. Again this is: should a person that suffers great pain from walking because of a disease or might die get a permit? My state asks about the pain factor, shortness of breath, heart, etc. Apparently other states don't and don't pass them out or they give them to everybody. Lots depends on the doctor. My doctor asked me if I had one-I said no- He got the paperwork and filled it out. He just assumed the previous doctor already did that. We just feel frustrated from pain when we can't find parking and we worry about somebody with greater needs not finding a space. Then we sometimes meet people that say mean things to us or want to confront us. They usually are healthy-they just want to park next to the door and run in for 50,000 things.
Nuff said meyati, you put it much better than I. I don't think people will get all riled up over the way you worded this!
Nice job, my friend!
Hi Macintosh12,
This is a sensitive question and/or discussion since there are people who have problems walking a distance, which includes myself. I look like a very healthy person but due to muscle damage in my thighs, it is quite a problem to walk very far. Also, I had a hip replacement gone wrong and that also pains me if I go very far and far means I cannot even walk a block away from my house. I try desperately to park in non-handicapped spots when I can but if it is too far in the parking area, I park with in the handicapped spot and know that it is irking someone. My personal opinion? We cannot judge who "should" park in these spots unless we know the history. I understand how you feel but believe me, our town is very strict on this handicap rule but yet I see so so many who "look healthy" parking there but I bite my tongue when I begin to think negative. Thanks for your opinion which you are definitely entitled to.
AquariusAnneCA
Hi AquariusAnne, I agree with you, you SHOULD use those spaces every time you shop!
Many people are missing the point of this! I am talking about people that do not have a permit, and park in the spaces, also I brought it up because ppl with fibro SHOULD have permits.
This entire thread has gotten out of hand!
The original post was basically about obese people that park in handicap-often without any type of permit-their grandma doesn't even qualify-so they aren't using her's, they go in and find the only electric cart that has a charge or isn't broken-use that one- then when you leave-they are ahead of you-you watch them pull into a donut shop. I'd be curious and watch them trot at a good speed-across the parking lot, buy donuts and R stuffing them in their mouth on the way back to their car--- In grocery stores their carts are filled with twinkies, sodas, etc. Being me, I asked them if they were going to have a party. -NO- My other pet peeve are those that use their grandma's permit-about 19 years old-jump out of the car with a back pack, jump a 5 ft. retaining wall and run up a flight of stairs. I called campus police-and had their car towed-one kid did it every day. Then because I was a reporter for the college newspaper, I wrote a story about it, and got paid for it. I can be so mean.
congratz for what you did in reporting the abusers of the handicap spot. I can appreciate what you were saying in your response. I was not trying to start a war of words. I read everyone's comments over and over. I just get very sensitive what it seems like when heavy people sometimes are singled out.
Apparently I have said the wrong things here. If I offended or upset anyone, I apologize. I wont say anymore.
Seeking peace,
A borderline obese Tee
Tee-I don't think that anybody is upset about a heavy person-we are upset when we see a heavy person in handicap-and then that person running around with a donut in their mouth or you see them on facebook bragging about using handicap-whatever. I had a classmate-quit cute-the girls that the professor babied him-talked about his money problems. Then on day he came in-in complete agony-his body twisted and he was on canes and almost passed out on me. I was so shocked. I asked what's wrong with Ollie? He was born with severe RA and it was considered to be a miracle. I had just met him when he wasn't too bad off and he tried to hide his symptoms and be like the other young men.
The obese may have other issues like heart disease or severe arthritis or you name it. And their inability to exercise much may be resulting in more weight. If you ask any expert on fibromyalgia, they will tell you that exercise, in moderation is the very best medicine for fibromyalgia, so someone could say the same thing about you. I have fibromyalgia and severe migraines which make any physical exertion a problem, so I do understand. My only point is to not judge others until you are in their shoes.
I admire your sil. I have fibro and arthritis. I am told I have one of the worst cases the doctor and rhemot. (s) have seen plus I have very painful arthritis. I still work cutting hair in nursing homes and home care work. It's not easy but have no one to support me while I wait for the long process of disabiliy.
I do not have a disability pass. My doctors would be glad to do the paper work for one. There is a few days it would be nice but moving helps me with the arthritis and fibro. When I get a day off I do take one or two days a month and just chill for the most part.
For the obese, I know fighting weight is not easy I have fought it all my life. I weight more then ever at 172 to 184 and I fight with it every day. I love my vegie's and all that but it is still a struggle. Moving is hard with the extra weight we carry but I am wondering who is serving these people their meals and snacks when they are so heavy. If they get hungry enough they will eat better foods if given to them. If they can get up to get their own food they can walk from a regular parting space.
I care for one lady that is heavy and has arthritis, fibro and other health issues. She does use a walker but insist on using a regular parking pass most of the time. Once in a while she will use the handicap spot. She is awesome and I admire her as well. She sews, paints, feeds birds, plants flowers, etc. she does not give up.
I understand more then most fibro and artritic patients think I do. I am forced to work and have found it helps me more then laying around or setting does. After laying to long or setting I can hardly walk. If I move I feel better. Not that the pain goes away completely but it does help relieve some of it. Meds are a great complaiment to moving. My pain level reaches a 8-9 quite often and it is hard to be around people until my meds kick in. I am never pain free but better with meds. Some times I postpone my meds and have some wine. It does help with muscle tension. Do not mix meds and wine.
After reading all these posts and suffering from many illnesses that cannot be treated I will say that as a person with severe untreatable fibro I someday's need that card. However, being the vain person I am I would rather locate a space that is as close as possible and use that instead. If its a really bad day that I can barely walk but HAVE TO do this errand because noone will do it for me then I will use it. I think its a personal judgement. I do think that a lot of people by nature judge you by your looks. In doing so you have no idea what they are suffering from, fibro, heart disease, cancer. The list could go on. We may never be able to change the way the world looks at us, but I believe we should try to educate the world more about this disorder. For years I made excuses for my symptoms. Its a disorder that you cannot see. I cannot use a cane or crutches or a wheelchair unless its electric since I have no bicep in one arm.
Its frustrating for everyone, but on a bad day there is no reason why someone should not use their card that they were approved for. My state required ALOT of medical proof to get it. Just my thoughts. Be well!
I read all your statements and your comments. I had to really stop and think before i answered this discussion. I didnt want to lose my temper here.
First of all, I suffer from chronic fibro along with other issues. To look at me, you wouldnt think anything is wrong with me. Then I pull my cane out. I hang my card in my window. Then if my husband gets out, he's immediately labelled as "obese" as you all call it. So is my only child for that matter. I see the looks we get and you can tell what people are thinking. They dont feel we should be labelled handicapped. People dont think there may be underlying causes for our situations. My doctor does KNOW the health issues and therefore wrote both of us handicap placards. We cant afford to have both his knees replaced as we no longer have insurance. He does the best he can and on most days still gets around better than me.
Yes it does upset me when people park without the tag in a handicap spot. The police arent usually around when you see that. But it kinda hurts when i read these comments bc you really dont know what may be really wrong with someone unless you walk in their shoes. So as for needing that tag for fibromyalgia, yes I do agree with it. Most doctors will only give it to you if they deem it necessary for your health.
Im sorry if my words upset anyone. I realize Im playing the devil's advocate in answering like this. I cant help feeling differently after reading this. Im just me.
Seeking peace,
Teresa aka Tee
Hey Tee. I do agree with you. And I am certainly not calling your husband obese or anyone else. Obesity is a medical term and lots of research has been done with this.
Sadly, though, it is a condition the person can work upon to correct, as it is a life shortening mess for that person. Guess i said that too quickly. I attach no stigma but do hope that people understand that the condition can be improved and is definitely painful with legs, feet, and even breathing making it a hard way to live. A friend of mine at twenty-five was told he has less than ten years to live because of his weight. He was unable to apply himself until he had a baby. Suddenly life took on meaning. Then the next doc gave him even less time to live. He wants to watch that little one grow up. He is working on losing the weight.
Any condition involving mobility ought to qualify if the person wants it. We often park in disabled spaces because there is room to pull out the wheelchair and get in so I am not in the roadway. But when crowded, we park where we can.
I really don't see you as playing devils advocate. Your point is well taken. It is good to keep educating people and for us to give positive views and impartial facts. That is how we all learn. So thanks for your comments. I am sorry you felt hurt. I should have been more on top of that. Karen
Dear Tee,
It was never my intention to hurt your, or anyone else's, feelings. I wouldn't do that for the world.
I do try and bear in mind that I can't always see someone else's health problems, just like they can't see my arthritis unless I'm limping or using my cane. But I'll admit to having my uncharitable days, usually when it's raining, I hurt like the devil and have had to walk from the back 40 of the parking lot.
You reminded me to think of a time last year when it was raining, I had a cart loaded with stuff and wanted nothing more than to get my car loaded and go home. My son was with me and suddenly just took off down the row of cars. He saw an elderly woman struggling to load her car while juggling her umbrella. He insisted she get in the car while he loaded her bags. She was so grateful and I was ashamed of myself for not even noticing that someone worse off than me needed help. Thank you for reminding me I need to look beyond myself again.
Again, I apologize if I hurt your feelings.
Lisa
Tee and Karen, I am most certainly NOT slamming people who need the placard and legally use it. I am slamming people who use the spaces when there is not one thing wrong with them! You see it all the time, like the guy in the Porsche who has no business parking in the handicapped space, he just doesn't want anyone to scratch his precious car.
If someone is overweight but needs to use the handicapped space, then they should use it. It matters not about someones size, unless that is the only reason they are parking in that space, and the state where I live has a large percentage of obese people. That's not a reason to get a placard, but if there is something wrong, it is deserved.
I try not to judge, yet I find it difficult when obviously healthy people use those spaces. It just grinds my gears.
Mac
Tee,
You took the words right out of MY MOUTH !! As I think people do NOT Know what type of Medical issues a person has & YOU are Not a DR.
And it Really surprises me that people On this site.. Should know more than Any one what it is like to be judged & made fun of. Because alot of the people on this site have been judged Because ALOT of us don't lave Physical signs of medical issues. Especially people with fibromyalgia are judged by
SO MANY people because they show NO PHYSICAL WOUNDS.
And most people that have to use these are already humiliated they have to use these devices to begin with. And just because someone is obese does not mean they are lazy.. More than likely they have other medical issues going on or there are medical problems that make them obese.
But my Philosophy is that I Never judge people because I have Not walked in thee shoes. Plus with all my medical issues I would Not like to be judged by others that don't Even know me.
Plus I am a Very firm Believer in;
Treat others with respect & as you would like others to treat You...
And NEVER JUDGE PEOPLE by how they look on the outside.
I hope I have not offended anyone on this site. As Everyone has a right to there Opinion & I am just sharing mine.
Kathy
Tee, Kathy and Karen, I'm in agreeance with you, it's people that have placards that don't deserve them, I'm NOT talking about people that need the placards, whether we can see their ailment, or not.
It's the cheaters, the guy in the Porsche that doesn't want his car sullied, so he parks in the handicapped space, or teenagers that claim they will just "be parked there for a minute"... I do hope you understand now.
Hi. I used to be frustrated by that too. Until it was my health and limited mobility. It became apparent that people with heart disease may walk fine but they are simply getting to the electronic cart in the store. When I could walk with only a cane I would get looks. Now I was the one getting to the cart. Of course, now a wheel chair so people pretend they don't see me.
Obesity is very painful. Sure it is their mess. However it is also their pain.
I no longer waste time judging others. My only issue was the guy in a Porsche who took the nearest space to the store and didn't have even a swing tag. Police do not show up for these.
I suspect every state handles this differently. Around here you have to have the doctors letter and a qualifying diagnosis. We also legislate how many disabled spaces per common spaces as well as proximity to doors. True, a federal law, but can be improved by the states.
Be grateful if you don't depend on these. Be compassionate for those who do. Use them when you must. Karen
Hi Karen, I think you missed the point of my question. And, I am a very compassionate person, most people here that know me can attest to that.
Read my Q over again, just to see if you read it correctly, as I meant no offense to folks who need a placard.
Lara
Hey Mac. I re-read your question and see only you being upset with people you call normals abusing the system. I am writing to people in general and saying there is no way to tell if someone is normal by looking. I also think it is hardly worth getting disturbed about other people's business. It creates anxiety and I need no part of that. I am talking about full compassion based upon equanimity. It is based upon ethics and seeing others no different from oneself. Viewed that way, the person needing the space because they are ill and can legally use it are relieving some of the pain in their lives. The person using the space for convenience, have their own set of problems and have not grown emotionally. Both deserve our unqualified compassion and deep understanding of their needs. Which one is damaged?
Thanks for listening to my point of view. It is not meant for you as a personal comment. It is meant to provide thought for any who wish to learn their own motivation. Freedom of speech and all that... lol. Talk to me any time, Karen
Endlesspred,
I Totally agree with you !
We should not judge Others when YOU have No CLUE what is Really wrong with Others. We are not drs. & these people have to Qualify to get these Handicap tags.
And as far as Judging Obese people that is Really Rude... Just think of other people on this site that might be reading all of these post making fun of them... It is hurtful !!
I am Not Obese & I do Not have a handicap tag even though my Dr. wants me to get one. But thank goodness my family goes with me to the stores & drops me off at the doors & that is the main reason I Don't Need One.
But Obese people usually have MANY Medical issues that come along with being Obese... And most of there medical issues YOU CANNOT SEE BY LOOKING.. And even if they became Obese by there Own hands that is not for US to judge.
I Do Agree with you on One thing... It is Irritating when people use the Tags/hanging placards... That are Not Theres !! And unfortunately that does happen Alot & is Very Frustrating. But just to judge someone because they are Obese is Not OK !
I don't want to offend anyone but at the same time I think making fun of people is being a Bully.. And that is Not acceptable & is hurtful to those that are fighting Obesity.
Kathy
You think I am making fun of people? Certainly not. Obesity is curable. It is a choice. Not understanding that keeps people trapped in their own logic. I don't know a single obese person who is not in great pain regarding their situation. Truth is truth. It is their own situation to cure. It is just like any other mental illness and has become recognized as such. It is depression, lack of self esteem and denial of their feelings. They sufferer terribly both physically and emotionally. Gaining fifteen pounds on a med isn't obesity. Gaining a hundred pounds and blaming other circumstances including meds is a problem needing correcting. I have great empathy for my friends. They self medicate with food just as the alcoholic does to free one from pain, if even briefly. I would never make fun of my friends. May we continue this elsewhere?
Endlesspred,
My apologies, I only meant to address Only you on the that I Totally agreed with what you were saying.
I have Dementia & Totally forgot that I addressed you on the post past the first line. I do apologize sincerely.
The rest of the post pertained to "Other posters" that were making fun of Obese people. No hard feelings I hope. Kathy
You are a sweetheart to clear this up. That explains so much. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being candid. Sorry, too, for any mix up. Karen
I've quite a bit of compassion for the truly handicapped, the people that have stickers, or placards, the ones that qualify for handicapped parking.
I, however, do not have compassion for people that park in those spaces just because of their laziness and NO handicapped sticker!
You all can keep on trashing me if you like, but I bet you all have felt this way at one point or another.
we don't need to judge any one!i had a weight problem and i had surgery to help me lose weight!even at my biggest i didn't eat no more than a child can!but yet i gained weight like i ate three plates of food!some times it's not a person fault that they are fat!!! it's in there genes to be big or they might have a problem with their health that causes them to be big!!i have a handicap tag and have for years but not because of my weight but because of my liver at first !but now it's due to chronic back and stomach pain and problems ,a lone with fibromyalgia!!and i'm not blasting you heck i might have responed to the wrong post but i'm just adding my 2 cents worth!we don't always see a person handicap and being big in a way is a handicap!!believe me i didn't want to be fat and i lost it twice but couldn't keep it off but with my gastric bypass i've lost over 100 pounds and will keep it off !!
Hi Brenda, you are so right, I shouldn't ever judge anyone! I'm no one to throw stones, as I'm not perfect by a long shot, obviously, I made a grave mistake by the wording of this question, and the question itself!
I've learned quite a bit from asking this ridiculous question, believe me. I will never judge another, as I 'look' like a normal person, yet have crippling pain.
So, consider me schooled, I'm apologizing to EVERYONE for this ignoramous question that I posted! Shame on ME.
Lara
Hi Mac. I think all the answers are excellent. I worked at DMV for about 7 years, and it was very difficult to get a parking placard. Things are different now.
I understand your frustration. There are too many people who have parking placards that don't really need them. Drs. must be writing scripts for those people. Maybe the Drs. need to be given a little more education about what's happening. Their probably aware and wishing us good luck on trying to find a place to park.
I have fibro, and I have a placard but I haven't used it yet because of this discussion about abuse of placards. I can't find a parking place, so what the heck good is it? My daughter has ms and has no use of her left leg. I cannot believe that there are people who use these spots, when there are others who truly need them.
I hear what your saying about the obese using parking placards. I've really never thought about that. Hmm
Good discussion, Mac.
God bless you,
Anna
Agree, and you go Pickles. Ruthie
Hi Anna, you SHOULD use your parking 'placard' (stealing your term, as you know what we should call it!) when you need it! If the fakers can use them, then you should be able to use yours! Especially when in flare, or when your daughter is with you!!! Don't feel bad about it either, Anna!
God bless you, too!
Hi mac.
I'd be more than happy to use it if I could find places to park. I don't like my daughter to walk at all when she crosses a road, so I drop her off next to the door of course. There's a severe misuse of placards. Thank you so much for caring. I'll use mine. God always gives me direction. I need to figure out the times of day that are least busy. I agree with you wholeheartedly. I can't believe the misuse of carts in stores. We all have legitmate reasons for feeling the way we do, and everyone has given good feedback. I wonder if there's anything we can do about it.
God bless you,
Anna
Oh, yeah, Ruthie... your an excellent cheerleader. Get those pom poms out.
Mac, ha ha, Do you want to see a comedian act. IMy body would land like a pretzel, and you don't want to know where the pom pom's would probably be? lol. Love you guys to death. Ruthie
Anna, meyati, Ruthie, you all should get awards for the funniest comments made!! I'm just sitting at my desk howling with laughter, yer killin' me, goils!
Too funny meyati, no more Twinkies! You can bet there are some still floating around, they never expire!
I have Fibromyalgia and asked my doctor for a placard for flares and she said Fibromyalgia is not on the list of conditions for a placard. I have neuropathy in both my feet and bursitis in both hips
Related topics
multiple sclerosis, weight loss (obesity/overweight), fibromyalgia, elderly, morbidly obese, handicapped
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