21yr old male, switching over from sertraline. Have yet to visit the pharmacy and currently debating if I want to go through with it at all. I refuse to take another ssri with seldom gains that will impair my energy levels and appetite, or even make me sweat uncontrollably when merely sitting at the desk. I understand there are adverse risks to my sex drive, especially for my age; although, it may be a necessary sacrifice in the interest of prolonging cognitive health, or repairing it at the very least. My mood no longer elevates in any which direction as it is discreetly frozen in limbo, and I have no desire to melt away the ice. I've come to terms with the understanding that feeling "nothing" is better than feeling "bad." I often find myself driving up a mountain alone only to stare at the the skyline and the stars, wondering how different my life could have been. Not to sound narcissistic by any means, but I do feel I am astonishingly resilient for playing the hand I've been dealt in this life, the accuracy behind that statement is constantly reassured by my therapist. I'm a college student with a 3.4 average with plans to transfer this time next fall pursuing health care; perhaps, once I'm officially on my own, all this garbage I'm writing will have been recycled.
In short, I'm an active guy and exercise is undoubtedly my preferred method of escape from reality. I take nutrition and fitness seriously as I adamantly believe it has safeguarded me from further, unpredictable punishment at the hands of a bi-polar, demented, neglected, fragment of a home environment.
